Trump: pardoned turkeys Gobble & Waddle call them Chuck & Nancy; Biden autopen Turkey pardon invalid

President Trump delivered the annual turkey pardon ceremony with characteristic humor and substantive commentary. The turkeys were named Gobble and Waddle — Trump joked he originally wanted to call them “Chuck and Nancy” (after Schumer and Pelosi) but decided against it because he wouldn’t be pardoning them. Even if Melania asked nicely, Trump said he wouldn’t pardon Chuck and Nancy. More substantively, Trump announced a DOJ/FBI/CIA/White House Counsel investigation has concluded that Biden used an autopen for last year’s turkey pardon. Trump therefore officially invalidated last year’s turkey pardon, finding the previously pardoned turkeys Peach and Blossom heading to processing — saved them in the nick of time. The framework extends beyond turkeys: Trump suggested Biden used autopen for “about every other person that was pardoned” — meaning most Biden pardons would be invalid under Trump’s framework. Trump joked only Hunter Biden’s pardon was valid. The turkeys Gobble and Waddle weighed over 50 pounds each — “largest ever presented to an American president.” HHS Secretary Kennedy formally certified them as “first ever MAHA turkeys” — despite being enormous and fat. Trump noted they’d been fed grass and fattening foods for the ceremony. Trump: “I was gonna call them Chuck and Nancy. But then I realized I wouldn’t be pardoning them. I would never pardon those two people.” On Biden autopen: “He used an auto pen last year for the turkeys pardon. So I have the official duty to determine and I have to determine that last year’s turkey pardons are totally invalid.”

Chuck and Nancy Joke

Trump opened the turkey pardon ceremony. “The turkeys being pardoned today go by the names of gobble and waddle.”

Standard turkey pardon tradition. Names submitted by the National Turkey Federation or by online voting.

“When I first saw their pictures I thought we should send them, well, I was gonna, I shouldn’t say this, I was gonna call them Chuck and Nancy.”

Trump’s joke: rename the turkeys after Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi.

“But then I realized I wouldn’t be pardoning them. I would never pardon those two people. I wouldn’t pardon them.”

Trump’s framework: Schumer and Pelosi would not receive presidential pardon from Trump. Even symbolic turkey-naming joke clarifies this.

“I wouldn’t care what Melania told me. Darling, I think it would be a nice thing to do. I won’t do it, darling.”

Trump invoking Melania’s potential intercession. Even First Lady couldn’t persuade pardon of Schumer/Pelosi.

Turkey Pardoning

“Are you ready? Gobble, I just want to tell you this, very important, you are here by sherpa, because Bozo is an unconfleming one here.”

Whisper garbled the transcript significantly. Trump was performing the ceremonial pardon, describing Gobble (turkey) as “hereby pardoned” with some accompanying humor.

“It’s unfortunate I don’t have the opportunity to thank you. Thank you.”

Trump thanking the turkey (unusual — turkeys being pardoned are saved from Thanksgiving).

Autopen Investigation

“To make an important announcement because you remember last year after a thorough and very rigorous investigation by Pam Bondi and all of the people at Department of Justice, the FBI, the CIA, the White House Counsel’s Office, and the Department of Everything. We have a Department of Everything. You know what that is? I think that’s called the White House.”

Trump’s framework for the investigation:

Pam Bondi (Attorney General)
Department of Justice
FBI
CIA
White House Counsel’s Office
“Department of Everything” (White House)

The humor: “Department of Everything” refers to the White House’s wide purview.

“Into a terrible situation caused by a man named Sleepy Joe Biden.”

Trump’s reference to Biden’s late-term cognitive decline and administrative practices.

Autopen Framework

“He used an auto pen last year for the turkeys pardon.”

Autopen: a mechanical device that replicates signatures without human intervention. Presidents have used autopens for certain documents. But Biden’s late-term use was controversial because:

Autopen suggests president didn’t personally act
Constitutional authority requires personal exercise
Questions about who actually directed pardons
Cognitive concerns about Biden awareness

“So I have the official duty to determine and I have to determine that last year’s turkey pardons are totally invalid.”

Trump’s declaration:

Official duty as current president
Determine validity of predecessor’s pardons
Last year’s turkey pardons invalid

Peach and Blossom Saved

“As are the pardons of about every other person that was pardoned other than, where’s Hunter? No hunters was good. That was the one pardon Pam that was good, right? The rest of them are all invalid.”

Trump’s expanded framework:

Most Biden pardons invalid (autopen)
Hunter Biden’s pardon valid (apparently Biden signed that one personally)
All other Biden pardons invalid

“I don’t know what the hell you’re gonna do about that, but that’s now we’re gonna take a little of the joke and that is a mess.”

Trump acknowledging the legal complexity. Thousands of Biden pardons potentially invalid. Criminal justice implications substantial.

“Hereby Null and Void, the turkeys known as Peach and Blossom last year have been located and they were on their way to be processed. In other words, to be killed. But I have stopped that journey and I am officially pardoning them and they will not be served for Thanksgiving dinner. We saved them in the nick of time.”

Trump’s framework:

Biden’s autopen pardon of Peach and Blossom invalid
Without valid pardon, turkeys were slated for processing
Trump found them before processing
Trump personally pardons them (valid)
Saved from Thanksgiving dinner

The narrative is humorous but underlies serious point. If autopen pardons are invalid, actions taken in reliance on those pardons (like sparing turkey lives) are vulnerable.

”Largest Turkeys”

“This one has plenty of time, but they were saved in the nick of time. It’s to an American president over 50 pounds each. It’s the largest we’ve ever had and those are big turkeys.”

50+ pound turkeys are massive. Typical Thanksgiving turkey is 12-18 pounds. 50+ pound turkey would feed a small army.

“Are they as good as the normal size turkey? Better or as good? Do they tend to be a little fatty maybe?”

Trump asking the turkey handler about meat quality.

“No, he said no. He knows the turkey business.”

The turkey expert assured Trump the meat quality isn’t compromised by size.

”First MAHA Turkeys”

“Anyway, despite their size, Secretary Kennedy has formally certified that these are the first ever maha turkeys.”

HHS Secretary RFK Jr. certifying the turkeys as “MAHA” (Make America Healthy Again) turkeys. The humor is obvious:

MAHA advocates for healthier eating
RFK Jr. opposes processed foods
50+ pound turkeys fed fattening foods are opposite of MAHA
Kennedy certifying anyway for ceremonial humor

“I don’t know if I agree with that. These are maha. In other words, they could be fat, but they’re still maha.”

Trump’s framework: MAHA as flexible standard. Fat and MAHA can coexist.

“They’ve been fattened on a steady diet of grass, beef, to allow the smoothies and all of the other things that they’ve been eating for this occasion.”

The turkeys’ diet:

Grass
Beef (unusual for turkeys)
“Smoothies” (unusual for turkeys)
“All other fattening foods”

The humor framework applies. These are ceremonial turkeys fed special diet to maximize size for photo opportunity.

”Record Setting”

“This was a really big occasion, but they’ve eaten every fattening food that you can eat.”

Trump’s framework: these turkeys ate maximally to achieve record-breaking size.

“We work like, we wanted to really make them special and they really are. They’re like record setting. I’ve never seen a turkey that big before.”

The turkeys are exceptional. Trump acknowledging the specialness of the ceremony.

Significance

The turkey pardon captures multiple elements:

Humor: Chuck and Nancy joke, “won’t pardon those two people” — Trump’s political humor directed at Democratic leaders.
Autopen investigation: Substantive claim about Biden pardons. If Biden used autopen broadly, pardons could be legally challenged.
MAHA turkeys: Light-hearted reference to Kennedy’s health initiative. 50-pound turkeys as humorous contradiction of MAHA framework.
Presidential tradition: Trump maintaining annual pardon ceremony with personal flair.

The autopen issue is substantively important. Biden’s late-term activities:

Extensive pardons issued
Autopen use widespread
Questions about awareness
Constitutional questions about personal execution

If Trump administration pursues autopen invalidation legally:

Thousands of pardons potentially reopened
Criminal cases reactivated
Political controversy renewed
Legal questions about presidential delegation

The Peach and Blossom rescue narrative is humorous but underscores the principle. A president invalidating predecessor’s pardon for ceremonial turkey is lighthearted. A president invalidating predecessor’s pardon for convicted criminals would be seismic.

Key Takeaways

Trump on Chuck and Nancy: “The turkeys being pardoned today go by the names of gobble and waddle. When I first saw their pictures I thought we should send them, well … I was gonna call them Chuck and Nancy. But then I realized I wouldn’t be pardoning them. I would never pardon those two people.”
Trump on Melania: “I wouldn’t care what Melania told me. Darling, I think it would be a nice thing to do. I won’t do it, darling.”
Trump on autopen: “A thorough and very rigorous investigation by Pam Bondi … He used an auto pen last year for the turkeys pardon. So I have the official duty to determine and I have to determine that last year’s turkey pardons are totally invalid. As are the pardons of about every other person that was pardoned other than, where’s Hunter?”
Trump on Peach and Blossom: “The turkeys known as Peach and Blossom last year have been located and they were on their way to be processed. In other words, to be killed. But I have stopped that journey and I am officially pardoning them … We saved them in the nick of time.”
Trump on MAHA turkeys: “Secretary Kennedy has formally certified that these are the first ever maha turkeys … I don’t know if I agree with that. These are maha. In other words, they could be fat, but they’re still maha … They’ve eaten every fattening food that you can eat.”