DOGE Discovers Government Retirement Files Stored in a Mine: “A Sea of Filing Cabinets from the 1960s”; Musk: “Dinosaurs Would Think This Is Old”

A DOGE team member revealed in May 2025 that federal employee retirement records were being processed by hand and stored in a limestone mine. “I took a golf cart through security down into the side of a mountain,” he said. “I open a metal door and there’s a sea of filing cabinets from the 1960s.” Federal retirement took six months because everything was compiled by hand — case folders thicker than the Lord of the Rings trilogy, calculations done manually, records physically carried into the mine. Musk assessed: “It’s very prehistoric. Dinosaurs would think this is kind of old.” The team announced they had just put 25 retirees through “an entirely online retirement process for the very first time in government history.” The record for a single retiree’s file: “27 boxes of paper on a palette.”

The Mine

A DOGE team member described his visit to the federal records storage facility.

“A few weeks ago I had a chance to go to the mine,” he said. “I took a golf cart through security down into the side of a mountain, entered — daylight left — and I entered this whole space of caverns and roads.”

He described the discovery: “We get to a metal door and I open it up, and there in front of me is a sea of filing cabinets from the 1960s.”

He described the environment: “I’m walking around — it’s super chilly, smells like paper, and it’s a great mine. It’s secure as well, temperature-controlled.”

He asked the obvious question: “Why are we still using paper in 2025?”

The image of a federal employee riding a golf cart into a mountain to access filing cabinets from the 1960s was the most visceral illustration of government technological backwardness that DOGE had produced. In an era when every American carried a supercomputer in their pocket, the federal government was storing critical records in a converted mine shaft.

The limestone mine storage facility was not a secret — it had been used for decades to store federal records. What shocked the DOGE team was not that the mine existed but that it was still the primary storage method for active retirement records. These were not archival documents that might be referenced occasionally; they were working files that had to be retrieved, processed, and updated every time a federal employee retired.

Six Months to Retire

The team member explained why federal retirement took half a year.

“The normal process for retirement — it’ll be over six months,” he said. “Once you file your retirement papers, that’s why it takes six months.”

He displayed the paperwork: “These are replica case folders that people use to retire from the government. They’re all compiled by hand.”

He described the process: “If somebody wants to retire, they can’t — because it takes six months to compile the paper and carry the paper into a mine where it is stored.”

He added: “Also the calculations are done by hand. Everything has to be reconciled, adjudicated.”

He held up a folder: “This is thicker than the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and if I had to process this, I would rather do my taxes in the dark than have to go through this.”

The six-month retirement processing time was not a bureaucratic preference — it was a physical constraint. When every calculation was done by hand, every record was stored on paper, and every file had to be physically transported to and from a mine, the process could not be faster. Over a thousand federal employees were dedicated to the task of “carrying paper into a mine.”

The Lord of the Rings comparison was apt. A single retiree’s case folder — containing decades of employment records, benefit calculations, and administrative documentation — was hundreds of pages. Multiply that by the thousands of federal employees retiring each year, and the scale of the paper operation was staggering.

”27 Boxes for One Guy”

The record for a single retiree’s file set a new standard for bureaucratic absurdity.

“The record is several shopping carts,” the team member said. “There’s a whole palette for one retiree with 27 boxes of paper on it.”

He confirmed: “For one guy. That’s the record. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”

Twenty-seven boxes of paper for a single federal employee’s retirement record. Not for a department, not for a building — for one person. The volume of documentation required to process a single retirement reflected a system that had never been designed for efficiency. Every form, every calculation, every signature, every approval was captured on paper and stored physically.

”Dinosaurs Would Think This Is Old”

Musk provided the assessment in his characteristic style.

“If you were to say we have iPhones, does the government have pay phones?” the journalist asked. “How prehistoric is this technology?”

Musk responded: “Oh yes, it’s very prehistoric. It’s like Flintstones. It’s Flintstone-level stuff.”

He escalated: “It’s so prehistoric. Like dinosaurs would think this is, you know, kind of old. That’s how prehistoric it is.”

He added: “I mean, basically the only thing living was a sponge. That’s how prehistoric it was.”

The journalist concluded: “So we’re leaving the Stone Age and we’re moving into the Golden Age.”

Musk confirmed: “Pre-Cambrian era.”

Musk’s humor served a serious point. The gap between the technology available to the private sector and the technology used by the federal government was not a matter of years or decades — it was a matter of geological eras. The federal retirement system was operating on processes and infrastructure that predated not just the internet but, in some cases, the computer itself.

25 Retirees Online

The DOGE team announced the breakthrough.

“What we’re doing is we’re bringing this process online with modern software,” the team member said.

He delivered the milestone: “I’m excited to share that as of tonight, we have 25 retirees going through an entirely online retirement process in the government for the very first time.”

He credited the career staff: “It’s great collaboration with Retirement Services inside OPM. This has always been their dream, and we’re just here to help accelerate it.”

The revelation that career OPM employees had dreamed of digitizing the retirement process was itself an indictment of the previous system. The people who worked in the retirement office every day knew that carrying paper into a mine was absurd. They had wanted to modernize. The bureaucratic inertia of the federal government had prevented them from doing so until DOGE provided the impetus and the technical support.

Musk noted the human benefit: “It also frees up people, because we shouldn’t have over a thousand people carrying paper into a mine. That is not a good use of people’s lives. There are many other things they could do that would be far more productive.”

Key Takeaways

• DOGE discovered federal retirement records stored in a mine: “A sea of filing cabinets from the 1960s. Why are we using paper in 2025?”
• Federal retirement takes 6 months because files are compiled by hand and carried into a mine. Record: “27 boxes of paper for one retiree.”
• Musk: “It’s very prehistoric. Dinosaurs would think this is kind of old. Pre-Cambrian era.”
• Breakthrough: 25 retirees processing through online system “for the very first time in government history.”
• Career OPM staff: “This has always been their dream. We’re just here to help accelerate it.” Over 1,000 employees freed from carrying paper into a mine.